So, it’s that time of year again. No matter your religion (or disbelief in altogether), this is the time of year when working stiffs the world over find themselves as unwilling participants in office parties. You may love your co-workers. They might be like family to you, but if your family is anything like mine, the last thing you want to do is spend hours with them making small talk over a pecan roll. As if familial type dysfunction isn’t enough, Transman is almost always socially awkward, as these photos from the office party attest.
Things started out awkward:
“Why did you tell me it was a costume party?!” Transman complained to his work spouse, played by the lovely Jean Harlow. (William Powell will yet again stand in for Transman.)
And just continued on that way:
Transman rushed home and changed clothes, but then got stuck in the elevator.
There was a mix-up with the whole “Secret Santa” thing. “Transman! The rules explicitly say no gifts over $5!” Meanwhile his work rival promised she had found “the absolute most perfect gift ever!” for their boss.
Transman had forgotten that he had signed up to bring the hors d’oeuvres (hell, he couldn’t even spell the word, so why he signed up to bring them remains a mystery.) Luckily, he had three loaves of Wonder Bread and a jar of Sanka in his office, so everyone feasted on dry toast and black coffee.
“At least I remembered the drinks I signed up to bring,” scoffed one of the managers. “Here, make yourself useful and pass this tray around.”
Transman listened in on the office gossip and found out awful things about himself. “And then I saw Transman with his fool head stuck in the elevator; what a stooge … he’s right behind me, isn’t he?”
Transman’s card tricks went over like a lead balloon.
Transman had to face one of his greatest fears–cutting a cake in public. “Really, you don’t want me doing this. I failed geometry three times.”
Transman can’t even explain what was going on here; let’s just say everyone is lucky they’re still employed.
Everyone wished each other happy holidays while secretly longing to make an escape. Unfortunately, the boss kept calling for everyone to sing just one more chorus of her favorite Christmas song, “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.”
